It has been a very long year. Lockdowns and social distancing have had a profound impact on our hearts and minds. But thankfully, as the vaccines roll out and the country begins to slowly open back up, we are beginning to return to some kind of normal. While many people are jumping for joy with […]
It has been a very long year. Lockdowns and social distancing have had a profound impact on our hearts and minds. But thankfully, as the vaccines roll out and the country begins to slowly open back up, we are beginning to return to some kind of normal.
While many people are jumping for joy with the idea of taking part in normal social gatherings and getting back to life pre-pandemic, there are also those individuals who are feeling a bit of social anxiety at the same time. This is to be understood.
Being social requires a set of skills. We learned as children how to interact with those around us. As we grew older, we learned even more of the intricate and complex social structures, rules, and more. Being away from society for a year or more has put a kink into these important skills for many of us. You may have learned how to ice skate as a kid, but if you haven’t been on skates for years, there’s a good chance you’ll break some bones!
Here are some tips for dealing with any social anxiety you may be experiencing:
Many will find it absolutely exhausting trying to relearn all of the social skills they haven’t practiced in some time. It’s okay, you’re not the only one who is struggling right now. Just be kind and gentle with yourself.
Some people may be feeling anxiety right now because they are unsure of how safe it is to be out in the world. If we’re honest, the talking heads on TV seem to give us mixed signals about what is really going on. All you can do is set your own boundaries and determine what you feel comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable giving or receiving hugs, don’t feel pressured by someone else. Respect your own boundaries and comfort level and take things day by day.
If you haven’t worked out physically in some time, you wouldn’t, on your first day at the gym, run for an hour on the treadmill and THEN lift heavy weights afterward. You’d take things slow so as not to hurt yourself.
Apply this same logic to your social life. If you feel out of shape socially, then take things slow. Don’t suddenly fill your social calendar with all kinds of activities and events. Start with a small gathering and go from there.
If you find your anxiety isn’t dissipating after some time, you may want to speak with a counselor. They can give you the tools to help you get out of your rut and back into a healthy and joyful life.
If you’d like to speak with someone about your anxiety, please reach out to me.
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Divorce isn’t easy for anyone, but children can take it particularly hard. Many children don’t understand what is happening and many more feel the divorce is somehow their fault. Here’s how you can help your child cope: Communicate Openly The divorce should be explained in simple and straightforward terms. If at all possible, both […]
Divorce isn’t easy for anyone, but children can take it particularly hard. Many children don’t understand what is happening and many more feel the divorce is somehow their fault.
Here’s how you can help your child cope:
The divorce should be explained in simple and straightforward terms. If at all possible, both parents should be part of the conversation. Your language should be tailored to the age of your children as well. So for instance, when speaking with very small children you might say something like, “Mommy and Daddy yell at each other a lot and everyone is feeling unhappy. So we have decided to live in different houses. But we love you very much and we will both take care of you still.”
Children do best when their environments are familiar and predictable. Do your best to provide the structure and routine your children have become used to.
Many children will panic at the news, they will not understand how both Mommy and Daddy will both remain in their lives. So clearly explain how things will work going forward. “You will spend weekends with Daddy, and the rest of the time you will be here with Mommy.” You may also want to work on creating a calendar together so your child has something to refer to.
Your ex may have caused you a lot of emotional pain in your relationship, but to your child, that ex is their mommy or daddy. Never speak unkindly about your child’s other parent.
Your child will sense that YOU are dealing with a lot of emotions, and, wanting to protect you, he or she will keep their emotions to themselves. It’s important that you encourage your children to talk to you candidly about how they are feeling. Let them know they can come to you at any time and talk to you whether they are scared, sad, or angry.
Everyone’s situation is different – and all children are different. Some may take the news better than others. You may find that your child is suffering more than you originally expected. If this happens, it may be a good idea to seek help from a trained family therapist, who can give all of you helpful coping tools.
If you would like to explore treatment options for your child, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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For a year now, most of us have been unhappy with living a life in quarantine, wondering when the world would finally get back to normal. With vaccines rolling out and most towns and cities reaching herd immunity, society is beginning to open back up. Now if you are like some Americans, part of you […]
For a year now, most of us have been unhappy with living a life in quarantine, wondering when the world would finally get back to normal. With vaccines rolling out and most towns and cities reaching herd immunity, society is beginning to open back up.
Now if you are like some Americans, part of you is happy for life to return to normal, and another part of you is experiencing what some psychologists call “re-entry anxiety.” According to a report from the American Psychological Association (APA), nearly 50% of Americans have expressed that they feel some anxiety regarding resuming in-person interactions post-pandemic.
Mental health experts have suggested there are two groups of people that will most likely experience re-entry anxiety. One of those groups is people who have a lingering fear that they will either catch or help to spread the disease or the new strains of COVID that seem to be cropping up.
The second group are people who feel their social skills have withered while quarantined and may find being around a lot of people and holding their end of the conversation to be very awkward, exhausting and challenging.
It’s important to mention that while you may be feeling anxious about re-entry into society, avoiding social situations will only make your anxiety worse. In fact, experts agree the longer you avoid the thing that makes you anxious, the harder it will be to face it.
What may help is to set small goals for yourself. For instance, you may want to set up small get-togethers with one or two others to start. Don’t feel the need to jump in the deep end right away, slowly acclimatize yourself to start.
We’ve all got to remember that we’ve faced a big trauma this past year and we must be gentle with ourselves. Life will feel normal once again. Until then, do the best you can do and ask for help when you need it.
Speaking with a trained therapist can be highly effective for people dealing with stress and anxiety. A therapist can help you navigate your emotions and offer tools to move through the anxiety.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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Not many of us will get through life without facing our own share of challenges. But some people experience not just stress and strife, but actual trauma. Trauma may come in the form of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, a physical accident such as a car accident, rape, the sudden loss of a loved […]
Not many of us will get through life without facing our own share of challenges. But some people experience not just stress and strife, but actual trauma. Trauma may come in the form of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, a physical accident such as a car accident, rape, the sudden loss of a loved one, or war.
When a person experiences trauma, their entire world changes almost instantly. Many trauma survivors have a hard time feeling safe and secure. They begin to feel anxiety and depression, have trouble sleeping, and may experience other behavioral changes that are frightening to them and their loved ones.
When you have experienced trauma and begin to see some of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it’s time to explore treatment so you can begin healing. The idea of therapy can feel scary and overwhelming to people with PTSD, mainly because they need to have a sense of total control to feel safe.
But trauma therapy is really something that can empower an individual with PTSD. With the help of a caring and qualified mental health professional, the person can begin to process past events, stripping that traumatic event of its power.
Trauma therapy is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and has the potential to actually change the way your brain works through what is called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity simply means our brains and neural pathways (how we think and feel) are malleable. Through specific mental health tools and strategies, we can retrain our brains to let go of the fear and begin to heal.
Some of the goals of trauma therapy are:
If you or a loved one are living with PTSD, it’s important that you recognize the symptoms and seek help. Life does not have to continue to be scary or overwhelming. There are strategies that can help you process your pain so that you may continue to live your life full of joy and peace.
If you would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be very happy to help you leave the past in the past and move on to brighter tomorrows.
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We live in a society that seems obsessed with physical health and weight loss. A majority of people have tried one or more diets to lose weight. People join gyms, juice, and take supplements, all in an effort to optimize their physical health. Sadly, most people don’t give their mental health a second thought. The […]
We live in a society that seems obsessed with physical health and weight loss. A majority of people have tried one or more diets to lose weight. People join gyms, juice, and take supplements, all in an effort to optimize their physical health.
Sadly, most people don’t give their mental health a second thought.
The problem is, no matter how good you look in a bathing suit or how “ripped” you may be, or how low your cholesterol is if you aren’t mentally healthy, your life is negatively impacted.
In the age of Coronavirus, when many of us are dealing with health and financial struggles, the stress can really take a toll on our mental health. With this in mind, here are some good mental health habits to practice in 2021 and beyond:
Gratitude is like a magic bullet when it comes to mental health. Too often, when we are feeling negative emotions, we deny our full reality, that is to say, we deny all of the wonderful things that are present in our life. Be sure to take realistic stock in your life each day and feel grateful for the people, events, and things in your life that bring you joy and happiness. And be sure to share your gratitude with others!
The only thing worse than dealing with grief, sadness, and stress, is doing so while devaluing your own self-worth. Be sure to treat yourself as kindly as you do your loved ones. See the good in you and practice self-care and self-compassion every day.
Most of us cling to the idea that we can control every single facet of our lives. It’s just not true. This desire for full control brings with it a sense of anxiety. Make this year the year you finally let go of needing to control everything.
Toxic people are bad for our mental health. It’s time to cut ties with those who bring you down in order to make room for people who will support you.
Along with these habits, you may want to consider speaking regularly with a mental health counselor, who can help you navigate any issues you may be dealing with and provide coping techniques.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. Let’s discuss how I can help you make 2021 your best year yet!
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“Because I said so!!” How many times did your parents say this phrase to you? How often were you spanked as a child? How much yelling was there in your house growing up? It’s safe to say that parenting styles have changed over the years. While spanking may have been deemed okay years ago, most […]
“Because I said so!!”
How many times did your parents say this phrase to you? How often were you spanked as a child? How much yelling was there in your house growing up?
It’s safe to say that parenting styles have changed over the years. While spanking may have been deemed okay years ago, most parents agree now that hitting a child is not okay, for any reason. Shame and yelling are also, thankfully, out of fashion.
Many of today’s parents are trying to use positive parenting techniques instead.
Positive parenting refers to a parenting style that relies on warmth, nurturing, and mindfulness. This type of parenting reinforces good behavior and avoids using harsh forms of discipline.
Positive parenting has been shown to facilitate numerous favorable outcomes. It has been linked to better grades in school, better behavior, more positive self-concepts, less substance abuse, and better overall mental health.
Positive Parenting has three main components:
How often have you had a bad day at work and yelled at your kids when you got home? It is very common for parents, either consciously or unconsciously, to take their bad emotions out on their children.
To parent positively means you have got to get a hold of your own emotions so you only interact with your child in a kind, loving, and honest manner.
2. Focus on Strengthening the Parent-Child Connection
It can be easier said than done, but each interaction with your child must strengthen the connection between you both. When a parent-child connection is strong, the child will feel safe and be able to trust.
3. Love Your Child Unconditionally
Many punishment techniques throughout the years rely on a parent “withdrawing” their love. This conditional love can cause great emotional and psychological harm to your child. Instead, focus on being a coach and mentor to your child, offering them loving guidance and reassurance to help them manage their emotions and behaviors.
It can also be very helpful to get some help from a family therapist who can help guide you in becoming the loving and compassionate parent you want to be.
If you would like to explore counseling options, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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Not many of us remember our teenage years as walks in the park. That’s because this time in our life is punctuated by uncertainties, social pressure, and a surge of hormones. Because of this perfect storm, many teens act out, which can cause a lot of chaos and disruption in the home and family. Here […]
Not many of us remember our teenage years as walks in the park. That’s because this time in our life is punctuated by uncertainties, social pressure, and a surge of hormones. Because of this perfect storm, many teens act out, which can cause a lot of chaos and disruption in the home and family.
Here are 3 reasons why teens can benefit from therapy:
Most teens have a certain level of self-worth issues growing through this awkward phase. But there are those teens that really suffer from low self-esteem. Therapy can help adolescence build their self-esteem.
Dealing with school, friendships, work, choosing a college… are all major stressors in a young person’s life. And many teens find it hard to speak with their parents. Therapy offers teens a way to communicate and let go of some steam and pressure that is building up.
There should be a rule that no young person should suffer the loss of a close friend or family member. Sadly, many teens do experience loss and the grief that accompanies it. This can be incredibly difficult for the teen and their parents to navigate. A therapist has been trained to know exactly how to guide a young person through the stages of grief.
It’s perfectly normal for teens to feel worried and anxious at times. But some teens experience such severe anxiety, it negatively impacts their life, schoolwork and relationships. Therapy can help teens learn to manage their symptoms.
Unfortunately, many teens learn to cope with the intensity of life by using drugs and alcohol. A therapist can assess a teen’s substance use and determine the best course of action.
These are just some of the benefits teens can gain from working with a therapist. If you or a loved one would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
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If you struggle to set goals, let alone reach them, you are definitely not alone. In fact, it is thought that roughly 92% of the population has found it hard to stick to goals. This constant cycle of trying to set beneficial life or health goals, but never quite reaching them, can ultimately lead to […]
If you struggle to set goals, let alone reach them, you are definitely not alone. In fact, it is thought that roughly 92% of the population has found it hard to stick to goals. This constant cycle of trying to set beneficial life or health goals, but never quite reaching them, can ultimately lead to depression.
That’s because reaching goals is empowering and helps us feel we are in charge of our life. When we don’t reach goals, we feel powerless and even hopeless that our lives can change for the better!
Just as you must follow a recipe to the proverbial “T” to end up with something edible, there is a formula that must be followed to the “T” to set reachable goals. This formula is often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help individuals set and reach goals that will help them change behaviors and better their lives.
Goal setting has actually been shown to be a useful tool for those suffering from depression according to a study published in the journal PLOS ONE. The study found that individuals suffering from depression had more trouble setting goals and were far less likely to believe they could reach them.
The study found that those who were depressed had more difficulties setting goals and they were also less likely to believe they would achieve those goals. The participants also tended to set avoidance goals rather than approach goals.
An avoidance goal is one you set to avoid a negative outcome. “I want to lose weight so I don’t develop type 2 diabetes.” An approach goal, on the other hand, is one that you set to ensure a positive outcome. “I want to lose weight to have more energy!”
The study shows that counseling can help people with depression set and achieve realistic and achievable goals as well as help them stay on track mentally in pursuit of that goal.
The goal-setting formula used by most CBT therapists is as follows:
A therapist can help you with each one of these steps. From ensuring you select realistic goals that are approach goals, to helping you identify where you are in relation to your goal, breaking down the goal into smaller, actionable steps, and helping you take that very first one, a counselor or coach will be in your corner, helping you every step of the way.
Make 2021 the year you reach those goals that will help you live your best life. If you’d like some help getting there, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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COVID-19 can be compared to freshmen year of college – it’s stressful, you feel overwhelmed, and it’s way too easy to pack on an extra 15 pounds! Many of us, having been stuck at home and dealing with stress for the past 4-5 months, have found our eating habits have taken a nosedive. So how […]
COVID-19 can be compared to freshmen year of college – it’s stressful, you feel overwhelmed, and it’s way too easy to pack on an extra 15 pounds! Many of us, having been stuck at home and dealing with stress for the past 4-5 months, have found our eating habits have taken a nosedive.
So how do we remedy this?
Many of us are still in lockdown mode and still dealing with the fear and stress of the pandemic. Are we supposed to try and put ourselves on a strict diet so we can lose weight and get healthy? Strict diets almost never work for most people, particularly when they are dealing with a stressful situation.
A far better solution is to turn to intuitive eating.
Intuitive Eating is an evidenced-based, mind-body nutritional approach that helps people honor their body and their health. By listening to the body and giving it what it needs nutritionally, you are able to meet your physical and psychological needs.
Now let’s talk about what intuitive eating is NOT.
It is NOT a diet or a specific food plan. It is not something where you restrict certain foods or count calories, carbs, or macros. Dieting and food restriction has never worked long-term. It is not sustainable.
But intuitive eating IS sustainable. This is not a diet but a new way to become self-aware and practice self-love and self-care.
Most diets put foods into one of two categories: Spinach goes into the “good” category and cake goes into the “bad” category. Intuitive eating gives a person permission to view all food as good and to eat whatever you like because you are trusting your body to tell you what it wants and needs. Anytime we can tune out the exterior world and tune into ourselves, we are far more apt to find balance and optimal health.
There are a few steps I always recommend clients take to get started with intuitive eating.
1. Start Listening
From a young age, we’re taught to listen to others. But rarely is a young person taught how to tune into themselves. It’s time you start. Check-in with yourself throughout the day to see how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Just begin to listen to your own inner voice more over the coming days and weeks.
2. Drop Those Judgements
What foods have you been told are an absolute no-no? Red meat? Butter? Sugar? It’s time to start reevaluating what you have been told by others and let your body tell you what is “good” and “bad” for YOU.
3. Eat More
If you are someone who comes from a diet mentality that has had you eat less, try and eat more and see how your body responds. Remember, you want to really LISTEN to what your body tells you. Eat 3 meals a day and 2-3 snacks. Do you find you’re still hungry? Do you find you get full easily?
Intuitive eating works and it can help you if you’re dealing with stress eating from COVID. If you need any help or guidance with this new lifestyle, don’t hesitate to get in touch.
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You’ve heard of the “Freshman 15” but what about the “Quarantine 15?” There’s nothing like a global pandemic to help a person pack on the pounds, am I right? It’s hardly been easy for any of us to keep up with our healthy habits over the last few months. To start, dealing with so much […]
You’ve heard of the “Freshman 15” but what about the “Quarantine 15?” There’s nothing like a global pandemic to help a person pack on the pounds, am I right?
It’s hardly been easy for any of us to keep up with our healthy habits over the last few months. To start, dealing with so much stress and anxiety has caused many of us to reach for our favorite comfort foods. It’s hard to eat a salad when you’re worried about losing your job or a loved one’s health.
There have actually been studies that found junk foods actually release dopamine in the brain, and this chemical makes us feel happy. So eating salads when you can’t visit loved ones and you are worried isn’t all that rewarding. But those cookies and that ice cream, now THOSE make us feel good at the moment!
Second, with gyms, beaches and public parks closed, it’s been very hard for most people to stick to their workout routines. So we find ourselves isolated, sitting in front of our televisions, binging on Netflix and copious amounts of carbohydrates.
Without question, the Coronavirus has created the perfect storm for many of us to pack on the pounds. But now with things slowing down and the country (and world) slowly opening back up, it’s time we focus on losing that weight and putting our physical health back at the top of our priority list.
Here are some tips on losing the Quarantine 15:
Walking is such an underrated exercise. It’s low impact and the perfect way for you to burn fat. If you have a dog, walk them! Grab your family members and go for a walk around the neighborhood. You don’t need a gym or fancy piece of equipment to walk, just a comfy pair of sneakers.
Getting enough water each day helps to boost our metabolism. If you’re not a fan of drinking water, then opt for juicing fruits and veggies, which will help you stay hydrated. Just be sure not to drink a lot of sweet fruit juices- try and stick to green veggie juices with maybe an apple thrown in for sweetness. Watermelon and cucumbers are great to juice.
Talk about empty calories. Many of us have taken to having a glass or two of wine or spirits each night as a way to cope, but all of those calories add up. Try and limit your alcohol consumption.
Protein helps us to feel fuller longer and also decreases the hormone that causes our appetite to surge. Protein also helps us to build lean muscle and the more muscle our body has, the more calories we burn, even while at rest!
Getting plenty of quality rest can be hard for many of us during the best of circumstances, but it can feel next to impossible during a pandemic. But it’s really important because, without rest, you won’t have the energy to get up and get moving. And without proper sleep, your body can’t heal and repair itself!
This has been an incredibly stressful time for everyone, and if you’ve put on some weight, you are definitely not alone. But the time has come to regroup and focus on getting healthy. Following these tips should help you regroup and lose the Quarantine 15.
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